Ok, so I know it may seem odd, but we never had a normal parenthood, I wasn't the Mommy who experienced those "normal" infant milestones. Our 3rd child comes along 11 months ago, we call him Jaden, and he has given us a gift, as much as D'Angelo & Adalina's gift of Autism has been to us. Polar opposite experiences, with amazing insights on both ranges of child development. What was it like to have a child wave bye bye, to clap at 10 months and mumble the words, cla, clap. Miguel (my husband) & I were cracking up last night because Jaden was blabbling on and talking to D'Angelo, and D'Angelo was cracking up...you know, that infectious child laughter. It was as if they met, soul to soul, no words needed, just babble! It was at that moment that Miguel & I acknowledged that this was the 1st time we have experienced what a "regular developing" (whatever THAT is) infant is like. Miguel confirmed, "yeah, you think D'Angelo & Adalina are hard, ha!, watch out, Jaden is the one we gotta watch out for!" And we laugh, we bonded over our amazing journey together. Jaden has shown us. I know it may seem simple, but when you didn't experience this with your first two, at this age, well it's an awakening. But let's hold up here: on the flip, and in reflection: why is it so important to us, as parents, to connect with our children on these simple, yet profound reflections of ourselves. That's the lesson. You see, with Autism, our children on 'the Autism spectrum", don't always give us those milestones, at what is thought to be the 'normal' developmental stages. And we are left to think, what's wrong? I'll tell you what: what's REALLY wrong is that we can't relate, so that leaves us to question ourselves, thinking it's about us, because boo hoo, our autistic child won't look us in the eyes, won't communicate their feelings in words. I say...get over it, take action, look within. Life doesn't ever give us anything we can't take. Come on, let's be honest here: we pride ourselves in our children, for whatever selfish reasons. Maybe it's time to look at our children as a gift to the world, not for our own selfish pride. As so many times, when there is an Autistic meltdown in the middle of a public place, I know I have become self conscious, due to my two autistic children. I'm over being this way, as I learned through my spirtual teachings: you can only control your response to circumstance, you cannot control others reactions to that circumstance. So, thank you, Mr. Jaden for your gifts, and for reminding me that it's not about me.
It's Your Turn.
What do you think? Do parents have the right to claim pride in their child? Do think it's self-promoting?
Please do share your opinion in the comments box below.
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